The Welcome to Motherhood Theory

Whether you have decided to start trying for a baby, just found out you’re pregnant, about to give birth, or 6 months in deep, welcome to motherhood!

Becoming a mum is arguably one of the most daunting, anxiety provoking life experiences that you can go through. It’s a job that demands you be on call 24 hours a day, 7 days a week and unlike most other jobs out there, there is no class, course, book or literature review to fully prepare you for this adventure of a lifetime. In those first few months it may even feel like a thankless job with no real reward (just yet anyway). Feeding and getting your baby to sleep are probably two things taking up all your brain power, and no matter how much you prepared yourself to become a mother, you probably feel exhausted.

With all that said, let’s have a look at what the science behind becoming a mum has to say. One study conducted by Hennekam, Syed, Ali and Dumazert (2019) identified there is a complex process, which occurs as a woman transitions into motherhood, and this process is influenced by a variety of factors including support from your partner, career goals, family friendly work practices and social attitudes towards postpartum appearances. No wonder many of us out there find it tough to establish our new maternal identity! 

To make your new life feel just a little bit more normal a study conducted by Copeland and Harbaugh (2019) identified some key attributes new mums experience including:

• Stress

The stress factor refers to the overwhelming sense of becoming a mum, trying to decipher your baby’s cues, managing all your relationships (i.e. partners, friends and family), as well as juggling work and other commitments.

• Adapting

Then there is adapting to your new maternal role. Mothers in this study reported this adjustment as hard and difficult but rewarding. Furthermore, mothers often have to adapt after giving birth as their maternal expectations don’t necessarily fit the reality of their new life.

• Functioning and Control

This concept looks at how mothers also go through their own recovery after their birth, which can be tough when the baby needs so much hands on care, and taking care of themselves ends up on the back burner while they try to meet their baby’s needs.

• Connecting

Support from partners, friends and family can really help new mums take care of themselves, which is so important as mums need to connect with others.

Chances are this study touches on one or more experiences that you are going through, have been through, or will go through as a mum. From my own perspective, I can say I found becoming a mum extremely tough some days and knowing that maternal stress is a real thing definitely helped me feel just a little bit more normal.

Long story short, motherhood is hard and the science backs you. But on those days where you feel like you’re not enough, just remember all your baby wants and needs is you, because you are their world. And this is the true beauty of becoming a mama bear.